Finding Common Ground

Okay, we agree that smartphones and social media are bad for kids.

But every family is different, and each will find its own path through the challenges of parenting in a digital age. FlipFirst isn’t here to prescribe one right answer — we’re here to highlight where there’s broad agreement among Waiheke parents and offer a range of options that can help us move in the same direction together - as an island community.

We’re starting from a simple place: the research is clear that ages 9 to 15 are critical years for social, emotional, and cognitive development. During this window, kids are especially vulnerable to the risks of addictive technology, algorithmic content, and social media pressure. So let’s break down these six years…

We’d love to hear your ideas — this is a shared effort.

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The Youngest Kids

For kids 11 and younger (all confined to the island) the research is clear. The best move is:

  • No phone

For this age group, we suggest a simple, comprehensive approach: no access to messaging apps or unsupervised internet - including platforms like YouTube. When children do use a parent’s phone or tablet, it should be for educational purposes and always under close supervision. Let’s be intentional: no doom-scrolling, no gaming marathons, no mindless algorithm loops creeping in too early. These years are too important!

NOTE: Solutions like the Pixbee Watch aren’t inherently harmful to development, but they can introduce a different challenge — creating status anxiety or jealousy among kids based on who has which device. For that reason, we suggest steering away from these types of flashy alternatives, even if they seem like a middle ground.

The On-Islanders

For kids 12 and up, the pressure to buy a smartphone starts to build — from peers, from schools, and sometimes even from ourselves. But a thoughtful, intentional response is essential. For children who are not commuting off-island, the practical need for tools like Google Maps, Uber, or messaging apps is limited. With that in mind, we believe the following options offer parents a reasonable and flexible range of choices:

  • No phone

  • Flip phone

  • Brick device + your old smart phone

The Off-Islanders

For kids 12 and up who are commuting off-island, parents face a real dilemma. Communication is critical, and certain transit or navigation apps can feel nearly essential. Still, even in these cases, there are excellent options that allow families to stay connected while avoiding the risks of social media, pocket internet access, and smartphone addiction. Options include:

The Oldest Kids

Each household must decide for itself when — or if — their children are ready for smartphones, social media, and unrestricted internet access. We suggest following the Australian guidelines which recommend delaying access until at least age 16. Holding the line until then gives our kids more time to grow, develop real-world resilience, and build healthy habits — before stepping into the complex digital world. Options for older teens include:

⚠️ NOTE: The research shows that one of the most important steps that parents can take is to keep smartphones out of their teen’s (and their own) bedrooms. Regardless of the device and level of access at 16 and beyond, we think it’s important to hold this ground!